Poetry

You are the wind that wraps around my body
I can feel where I begin and where I end
Leaning in I am lifted
Like I could take flight
On days I feel pushed
You are at my back

You exist between empty space and layered form
Like a weightless river
But unlike water
Travel on paths of resistance
And have no limits
No source
No place to return to
Just feelings that you sculpt with
Pasts that you move from
Weather that you preform to

Sometimes in three places all at once
Since wind cannot wade
You must move to exist
A breeze to a breath
A gust to a howl
The world as your medium
Your entrance pulls away a layer of debris
An instance of exposure
I can’t help but feel captured
Sucked in and waiting to be spit out

That movement inspires
It’s choreography
Pushing into open sails
Flipping pages to the right spot
Swaying even the oldest of trees
And making waves crash against every edge of land

You listen to the tide spread across my feet
As you trace between my fingers
Curve around my ears
And push up against my chest
You slow when we are present
Like I’m watching the clouds go by
And I’m reminded
This is enough

My belly aches
I lookout and notice you atop a tree
Then I notice the tree
There are many like you on many branches
But you have the deepest color
The sun has touched you more than anyone else
And you can see anything the sun touches
Normally it would be scary to climb this high
But there are no worries
Only the preemptive taste of you to fill my mind
I play my way to the top
I twist over branches and leaves
I duck under fruit still waiting for the tree’s attention
I dig my way out like I’ve been underground
My body still beneath the floor
I breathe my first fresh breath of air in a long time
I turn to see in all directions
Now I don’t want to leave
And I start to think that you might have picked me

A day
Helded together
By sunkissed horizons and painted clouds
They keep my feet rooted to the ground
While my mind melts into the sky
I am here
I am there
I am now

Lights begin to whisper below
Of stories
Of dreams
In a reflecting concrete pool
They are fireflies looking for their homes
I drift down the canyon like a paper airplane
My imperfections lead me on an unmarked path
I wonder what’s written on this page
Is it the song I keep humming?
Is it the desires I am not ready to read?
Does it say that I’m good enough?
Does it say I am ready to write on a new page?

Even if I don’t look
The words I write now tell me the same thing
There’s a fire under my throat
And the smoke signals will rise when I beat my chest
They will project the next sunrise
They will reflect the sun’s last breath
And echo through the dark

Underneath your skin
In the places I can’t touch
Lies layers of rock
Formed by love and loss
Compacted by letters and loneliness
Eroded by labor and lust
Healed by laughter and luminosity

It’s deafening when you’re quiet
It’s blinding when you are looking somewhere else
It’s painful when you move away

I want to be both near and far
I’ll take a deep breath and hold it
Crawl up inside you
To sit in the darkness
I’ll tunnel out to exhale
To blow us apart
To ride on a cool breeze under the warm sun
Both together
And alone

There are storms inside of me
They come when it’s calm
When there are no winds to blow into my sails
When I can see my reflection off the surface

I drift through crowded rooms
I lock myself up from the inside
I ritualistically bang and stomp
I begin to mouth the words
It turns into a hum
Then a whisper
Then a chant
Then a cry

I draw in the storm on every inhale
It pushes and pulls me in every direction
The holes in the room join in chrous as they begin to howl
My skin starts to crack
Then shake
Then bend
Then tear

Nail by nail
The roof pulls off
Nail by nail
I form two fists
I arch my chin to the sky
Ready to drink what the clouds have harvested
Rivers form flowing down my body
My veins push through dams and my heart fills
I unlock the doors but no one is home

I am alone
And I am in love

I often stand at the edge
Eyes closed
Fingers pressed into my palms
Rubbing into a softness only I know
My toes dangle off the ledge
Just enough so I can rock back and forth
Granting my balance control
My shadow hides beneath me
As the sun is directly overhead
There is no side of me unrevealed

From the outside I am naked
But from the inside I am fully clothed in the breezeless hot air
The waves lightly taps the side of the pool
I am the water’s moon
Constantly rising and falling but never any closer
Waining and waxing but always the same size

Your tides…
Why do they listen to me?
I have no water of my own
I am without color
While you can project all of them
Can I submerge myself into you?
Can you erode my layers?
Fill in my holes?
And leave my body smooth and clean

I sink into you

I can finally open my eyes
To see how the sun penetrates your skin
Letting veins of light surround me
Now I understand
I can float through you like I can float through space
I can be my colorless self and you will see every hue
My voice echoes in you as it echoes in the darkness
The distances between our differences are filled in
Swallowed up
A deep long exhale leaves behind a trail doubt
Of worry
Bubbleing to the surface

At the bottom
We both lay in each other
The colors; saturated
The current; still
The sounds; muted

I drift through endless space
Moving two housand miles per hour
But I feel suspended and motionless
My gaze locked on you
I feel completely cracked open

I’ve lost count of my orbits
But I know it’s time to go
When we separate
I will immerge polished
I will drip in ectasy
And when I’m dry and longing for you
I will cast moonbeams
I will conjure storms
And you will feel my invisible love
Like a rainbow in the night

I want to go where it’s wild
Where my feet can step over unrestricted roots
Where my eyes can fall on an unrepeatable landscape
Where my thoughts unearth themselves to face the elements
Time…runs free here
Moments blend into each other
Like the blues of the Pacific Coast horizon
The soundtrack never stops because every living thing is a musician
I don’t know the words yet but I hum along and step to the beat

Here, comfort comes in different ways
My home travels with me
Where I wake up might be different to where I go to sleep
My dreams get to live out their dreams…now illuminated by the rising run
To live only one day and be set on fire when the lights go out

I go to lay on the ashes
Planting a seed for the next day

We have thick walls but thin skin
We toss ourselves over
Leaving who we are behind
We are now empty shells playing bumper cars
All stuck to a track
A simulated connection with no chance of true failure
Little by little
Bit by bit
A self sacrifice for security and safety
Our biggest fear?
That there is nothing beyond those walls
That there isn’t space outside of this moment
That we’re already who we are

Growth can only come from making space
It’s progress itself that’s the destination
And letting go of who you may become or where you will end up is the journey

Now march
Thin skinned bound
Walls underground
Thin skinned bound
Walls underground

It comes when you’re not looking
It’s the silence between beats
It’s what’s out of frame
It’s unknown but understood
It lives in a glance
And at the bottom of your stomach
And at the tips of your fingers
It can move under your feet
And ride on a cloud
And whistle between the leaves

When you notice it, it notices you
It will never look away
And when you close your eyes it will pull itself around you
It will melt you down and freeze…everything…else

It will make you smile if you try and remember it
And if you forget
It will remind you

To travel alone is to make friends with the unknown
To craft loneliness into solitude
To learn to speak over your inner voice
To become a student of your surroundings
To not be afraid to raise your hand

To make a friend in any moment
To learn to say goodbye with a smile
To teach others they can to
To end up in the dark with no roof…and in good spirits
To run through the rain knowing it’s worth it

To fuel with moments of awe
To yell into the distance
To cry with the present
To laugh at the past
To forget about the future
To remember where you started
To give thanks to what you have
To drop what you don’t need

To find love in little moments
To be patient for the next step
To let others guide you
To surrender
To let go
To say yes

To come home…
A little bit older
A little bit younger
A little bit taller
A little bit lighter
A little bit stronger
A little bit softer
And a little more you